HOW DO WE TELL OUR CHILDREN ABOUT THE DIVORCE?

Consider carefully how and when to tell your children. Don’t assume you know how your children will react and try to allow your children to have their own feelings, even if they confuse, upset or anger you. Reassure your children that the divorce is not their fault and that you love them. Present a unified front and do not blame your spouse for the divorce. Studies show that the most difficult thing about divorce for children is conflict between their parents. Reinforce that you are still—and always will be—a family. If you are able to, tell your children the basics of the time-sharing plan to address their anxiety regarding unknowns. Answer difficult questions honestly, but do not overshare adult information. Communicate with your spouse in advance if at all possible—this takes planning and the two of you may want to seek the assistance and counsel of a co-parenting counselor, therapist or child specialist to discuss your individual situation and your children’s needs.